remember when Cosmo didn’t tell Mama Cosma he married Wanda so when he went to see her he told her he was out getting milk for the past 10,000 years
I was at work and we have this counter for accessories and my manager was behind there getting some hangers for clothes.
Katy Perry’s “Roar” was playing, and my inner diva came out.
I jumped up to counter singing the chorus.
He fell over onto his ass grabbing at his chest in fear then got up and walked away, like nothing happened.
2 minutes he later he comes up to me and whispers angrily:
"You better buy me a new pair of pants because you just made me shit these."
Jesus fucking Christ you aren’t perfect, because nobody is but you’re so damn close to perfection that I want to live in a box for eternity because you can do so much better than me, who is so close to imperfection that it’s almost right to be as imperfect as me.